Not only do they cry of piracy I think the Intellectual in IPR needs to be removed

Crazy Patents! For the USPTO to issue a patent, the invention must be novel, non-obvious, and "useful." The standard for usefulness is certainly the weakest of the three -- any possible utility, no matter how small, will suffice. And, useful does not necessarily mean commercially viable. In other words, you can get a patent on some crazy things that will never make it to the shelves of your local store. For instance:
Patent Number Title Summary
6055910 Toy gas fired missile and launcher assembly
The title sounds simple enough, right? Well, you better read the abstract to find out where you put this rocket and where the gas comes from... No, seriously -- you better read it. Somebody paid to patent this??? Submitted by Samuel Pai.
6360693 Animal Toy
Thanks to Samuel Pai for this submission, which is nearly unbelievable. Claim 1 describes (in fancy language of course), a synthetic STICK. Yes, a stick. I'm not kidding. This patent was applied for in 1999. Do you think anyone had ever conceived of the idea of using a stick (albeit a plastic one) as an animal toy prior to 1999? Check out the front page image -- a picture is worth a thousands words, or in this case, a stick.
6883462 Doggie Poop Freeze Wand
Is this disgustingly useless, or a great idea? I'm leaning towards the former. It is a device that can freeze or enzymatically break down dog poop. You still have to dispose of it, right? And I haven't heard of a big problem with non-biodegradable poop filling up landfills. Submitted by Jared McDonald.
5904268 Mug incorporating a simulated artificial horizon
Granted, this isn't very useful, but let me tell you what really worries me about it: I know what I would do with it. I'd sit the cup on my dashboard and use it to see how many G's I could pull while driving. The lure of always going for a new "personal best" would surely be hazardous to one's health. Thanks to Oliver Kroth for submitting this one!
5443036 Method of exercising a cat
In 1993 the USPTO issued this patent for using a laser pointer to exercise a cat (yes, by moving the laser pointer beam around and having the cat chase it). Come on now... Not only is this crazy to patent, but this idea had surely been thought of long before this patent came about. In fact, a bit of research turned up the book "One Hundred and Eighty-Seven Ways to Amuse a Bored Cat" (Ballantine Books; May, 1982) that describes the exact same idea, but using a flashlight. Sorry guys -- the use of a laser pointer for the same thing is obvious.
Update: Michael Burns pointed out something truly amazing about this patent. Not only should this patent probalby never have been issued, but it appears that the USPTO has issued what is essentially the same patent many times! See:

6505576 Pet Toy
6557495 Laser Pet Toy
6651591 Automatic laser pet toy and exerciser
6701872 Method and apparatus for automatically exercising a curious animal


6837185 Religious Meditation Apparatus
A bird feeder shaped like a church, so that you can watch the birds as you pray.
6826983 Light Bulb Changer
How many machines does it take to change a light bulb? Come on now, who is going to buy a machine, that looks like it weighs 100 pounds and costs plenty, to change light bulbs. How would one even get this contraption up to a light bulb?
6752088 Eating counter apparatus for mobile vending vehicle
This guy must have been sitting around with a hotdog cart, a park bench, and a welding torch, and decided he needed to patent something using only these three things.
6745394 Ballistic resistant body covering
From the picture, one would guess that this is a super hero costume which purports to protect the wearer from bullets. All I can do here is to pray for the test engineers. Good luck pals.
6739074 Tamper Resistant Institutional Shoe And Method
A shoe with a transparent sole to prevent concealing contraband. Don't laugh just yet -- these might be required on planes soon!
6725510 Inclining coffin
I'm not sure why anyone wants a dead person sitting upright, but even the person who patented this says it is spooky.
6718554 Hands free towel carrying system
A towel with a neck loop. Seriously -- that's all it is. And it took until 2004 to patent such a thing. I wonder what other amazing inventions remain to be discovered???
6711769 Pillow with retractable umbrella
A pillow, with a built-in umbrella to protect the user from the sun. Somehow the idea of having a tanned body and a ghostly white head doesn't appeal to me, but whatever floats your boat.
6659880 Chin Putter
The funny thing about this is that I think the authors take it seriously it does not seem to be a novelty item.
6650315 Mouse device with a built-in printer
The title is pretty self-explanatory. Yes, it takes very small paper. Maybe it could serve as a label maker -- that's about all I can think of.
6637447 Beerbrella
Keeps the sun off your beer (no, I am not kidding). One would think that those little insulating sleeves would be much more effective, but perhaps they were worried about their beer getting sunburned.
6557994 Stud Spectacles
Eyeglasses that don't need a frame because they attach to body piercings on the face. Yeah
6368227 Method of swinging on a swing
So these fools think that in all the years of swinging no one has ever before thought to pull on the opposite chains and swing form side to side? Well, I guess they got the PTO to issue the patent, so I'm not sure who the fool really is... But, even so, what do these guys expect to do with this anyway? Are they going to go around and collect royalties from kids on the playground?
6293874 User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
I'm not sure if this is a comedy prop or what. I do know one thing however: someone has a lot of time on their hands.
6125480 Vehicle mounted toilet seat
Being a bit of a outdoorsman I would like to give the creator of the Vehicle mounted toilet seat a bit of advice, people who go into the woods don't mind going to the bathroom in the woods. This guy just took a toilet seat, which has been around for a while, and strapped it on the back of a car.
6035447 Halloween Mask with Flash Device
This guy took a Halloween mask, strapped a light on it and called it a new invention. I know that Halloween is a relatively new holiday compared to some of the others, but I do recall seeing glowing masks well before this patent existed. In fact, I had a Jason mask that glowed when you pushed a button. I bet I know the next patent this guy submitted. He took a tree and stuck some lights and decorations on them and called it a "Christmas Tree." Pure genius.
5971829 Motorized ice cream cone
I am usually a proponent of anything that allows me to do less work, but everyone knows that the best part of eating an ice cream cone is eating the cone and ice cream at the end!
5970981 Mouthguard made at least partially from an edible candy
A mouth guard made from gummy candy... Maybe this guy is a dentist who wants to promote tooth decay to help his business.
5901666 Pet display clothing
A wearable Habitrail! This is a system of tubes that you can wear around, while your hamster crawls around in them. I have yet to see anyone wearing this, so I am guessing that it wasn't a smashing success at the pet stores (or clothing stores?).
5878931 Halloween Backpack
A backpack that dispenses candy! I'm sure this will be a hot seller at Walmart.
5787895 Kissing Shield
"The present invention proposes a method and device in which a flexible membrane is used as a kissing shield to lessen one's chances of becoming infected by disease from casual contact." Yeah, and it's very romantic too. These must be hot items on the bar scene. Seriously though, Frank McKeil (RPA) informed us that he had a chance to talk with the inventor of this patent and she mentioned that there actually is a very practical use: Burn vicitms that are susceptible to infection use them to allows safer kisses from loved-ones!
5678617 Method and apparatus for making a drink hop along a bar or counter
This is essentially the same as the fountains that Disney has at Epcot -- controlled streams of water designed to look like that are "jumping" (in this case, into a beer glass). But hey, this probalby IS amusing when you are drunk!
5593398 Protective underwear with malodorous flatus filter
An air freshener system for your drawers. Right. I can understand how an untimely fart in a professional or romantic situation could be embarrassing, but I think its time to practice what we big-boys call self-control. If this isn't an option perhaps it's time to see a doctor.
5491007 Carvable Artificial Pumpkin and Method
Who ever said creativity is dead in America? No one who knows the patenter of the Carvable Artificial Pumpkin. This guy took a hollow Styrofoam ball (that may or may not be painted orange) and called it a new invention. Somehow this reminds me of that Saturday Night Live skit with Dan Akroyd playing the crazy defective toy maker. I can just see this product coming with a big butcher's knife for the carving and maybe a bag of glass and nails for this kids to play with.
5265827 Paddle Wheel Plane
Does this thing really fly??? I'd be amazed.
5175571 Subliminal Glasses
Glasses that project subliminal images? They claim to ge a possible aid for everything from quitting smoking, stopping drug and alcohol abuse, and learning. Yeah, because the submliminal tapes that are available work so well
4858627 Smokers Hat
A hat with an air intake, which filters and then expels the air. Looks pretty much like wearing the exhaust hood for a stove on your head.
4553748 Electrostatically Enhanced Game
Unless you take some pleasure out of being shocked or shocking someone else, the Electrostatically Enhanced Game is not for you. I personally could find some joy in shocking my buddy while beating him at Madden, but unfortunately I don't think this is an original invention. I seem to recall a James Bond flick that had a video game like that, and that's kind of sad ripping off Bond.
4524471 Power Operated Separable Beds and Support Therefore
Again we see that American ingenuity is still running strong.? Really all this guy did was get two beds and put them on a track that lets you move them.? While I appreciate the touch of a button convenience, is it that hard to sleep next to someone?? Besides we all know that its not going to get you out of cuddling.
4455816 Tricycle Lawnmower
No, you aren't misreading anything. This really is a child's tricyle with a lawnmower attached. Real safe, eh?
4432545 Non-lethal cock fighting system
Cock fighting is illegal in the US (except for Louisiana and 1 other state as one of our readers has pointed out). So, these geniuses probably just drew attention to the fact that they are breaking the law. While this is a ridiculous patent, it did give me a idea for my next patent: A Kangaroo Kickboxing Kit.
4344424 Anti-Eating Mouth Cage
Just think Hannibal Lecter
4300473 Device For Moistening The Adhesive Coating On Postage Stamps and Envelopes
Describes a device containing an applicator to moisten stamps. Check out this quote: "The applicator may be in the form of a human tongue" Boy, that's novel.
4233942 Animal Ear Protection
A device for protecting the ears of animals, especially long-haired dogs, from becoming soiled by the animal's food while the animal is eating. Ok, your pet might look better without dirty hair, but it's going to look pretty dumb wearing this thing.

not only does the US patent office grant antigravity but some silly ones like the following

United States Patent Application 20050239024
Kind Code A1
Kemp, Ian David ; et al. October 27, 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toilet training aides and kits


Abstract
Toilet training aides, toilet training kits and related bathroom training aides and kits are disclosed. Toilet training aides may take the form of a multiple page booklet such a passport like booklet. The pages of the booklet may have a series of iconic images each depicting a toilet activity to a pre-literate or semi-literate child. Associated with each iconic image is a progress indicating area in which success indicating means may be placed for successful completion of the represented activity. Kits can include personal hygiene products ergonomically adapted to be used by a child. The aides and kits disclosed motivate and instruct a toddler or young child on all aspects of toilet training in both a comprehensive and focused manner.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inventors: Kemp, Ian David; (Gosforth, GB) ; McCabe, Michael Gerard; (Consett Co., GB) ; Naess, Jon Aleksander; (Lancy, CH)
Correspondence Name and Address: THE PROCTER & GAMBLE COMPANY
INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY DIVISION
WINTON HILL TECHNICAL CENTER - BOX 161
6110 CENTER HILL AVENUE
CINCINNATI
OH
45224
US


Assignee Name and Adress: The Procter & Gamble Company


Serial No.: 879337
Series Code: 10
Filed: June 29, 2004

U.S. Current Class: 434/236
U.S. Class at Publication: 434/236
Intern'l Class: