Reading this made my day! 9 top 9 for docs

I don't Know who wrote this in Medical Economics 
but I couldn't stop Laughing just imagining such Ludicrus situations

9. What if fire departments had to deal with prior authorizations…

“Is there smoke coming out of the building? OK, but can you actually see the flames? Well, we are only going to give approval for one fire truck, but you can appeal if you think you need more than that. Can I put you on hold for half an hour?”

8. What if office workers lacked interoperability…

“I received your urgent contract as a Word document, but I don’t have anything that can open it and neither does anyone else in the office. Can you just print it out and send it in the mail or maybe fax it over? We’ll just re-enter it in our system once we receive it.”

7. What if drivers were subject to quality reporting…

“Once you return from your trip, you’ll need to pick 25 out of these 100 good-driving behaviors to show that you are not recklessly driving your car. We’ll compare your score to other drivers to determine how well you performed, but we won’t tell you the results for two years. In the meantime, we’ll just assume you are a bad driver.”

6. What if pilots had to deal with the equivalent of changing formularies…

“Yes, I know you were scheduled to land in Chicago, but Chicago is no longer on our formulary. You will now have to land in St. Louis, even though Chicago always worked really well for people who wanted to actually go to Chicago. You can appeal if you like and we’ll have an answer for you in six weeks, if you want to stay in the air that long.”

5. What if meteorologists were subject to malpractice suits for errors…

“The man on the stand has been wrong 80% of the time, yet he still practices every day, ruining one family outing after another. You, the jury, must put a stop to this heinous, out-of-control malpractice of meteorology and send a message to other forecasters that they need to be right 100% of the time or they shouldn’t be practicing weather!”

4. What if traffic control devices were developed like electronic health records…

“Traffic is backed up for two miles on Main Street because we have 25 traffic lights developed by 25 different vendors, and each uses its own timing and color scheme. On one corner, green means go, while on another, it means stop, and some lights have five phases while others only have one. We could get some of them to work together, but we can’t afford the upgrades and they appear to be sabotaging each other to prevent any communication attempts. And the railroad crossing is a disaster because the gates and lights are from different companies and neither communicates with the railroad, but it does come with a really nice mobile app.”

3. What if employers denied pay to employees the same way doctors get stiffed by insurance companies…

“I’m sorry, but I can’t pay you for last week because you did not properly document that you attended the staff meeting. Yes, I saw you there, but unless you fill out the form correctly, we refuse to pay you. And while you say you worked on the Jenkins report for two hours, I’ll need you to explain how you worked on it and what you did so we can pay you. Make sure you use the proper codes from this 1,500-page book—the process should only take about four hours to complete.”

2. What if the police had to deal with internet experts the way doctors deal with Dr. Google…

“You know, officer, I can see you are busy with this hostage situation, but I saw this YouTube video that says the best way to resolve these conflicts is by throwing echinacea dust through the window, which will calm the gunman until he gives up. If that doesn’t work, the people on Reddit suggest doing a cleanse.”

1. What if everyone else had to go through maintenance of certification testing to keep their job…

“Well, to keep your job and prove you are actually as good an accountant as you claim after 20 years in the field, we have prepared this test based on your college classes of philosophy, art history and French.”

“What does this have to do with being a good accountant?”

“I don’t know, but you owe me $1,200 for the test.”

I Am NOT doing my MOC for American Board of Internal Medicine.

The first step of the  Bolshevik/Physician revolution.