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INFLUENCE AT YOUR FINGERTIPS
YOU’VE ARRANGED meetings with two financial advisors in order to choose one to invest your hard-earned savings. At the first office building, the shrubs lining the entrance need trimming and there are fingerprints on the revolving doors.
At the security desk, a guard pushes the guest book toward you. You know the drill: You sign in, volunteer your ID, wait as the call is made upstairs, and then the guard points you toward the elevators.
Upstairs, the receptionist is handling a busy switchboard. In between calls, you quickly state your name and business. She gestures you to a chair, where you choose a magazine from the collection on the coffee table.
You wait ten minutes and are just about to ask the receptionist if you could use the restroom when your prospective advisor strides in. His rolled-up sleeves and loosened tie signal his hectic morning. After quickly shaking your hand, he leads the way to his office.
In his office, the phone is ringing. He grabs it as he motions you to a chair. You sit down and try not to eavesdrop on the one-sided conversation. Finally he hangs up, and your meeting begins.
You proceed to your second meeting. The building’s windows are spotless. The paint job is fresh. The landscaping is crisp.
At the security desk, you’re pleased to be informed that you are expected: your name is on a list of guests. A quick show of your ID, and you’re in the elevator.
The receptionist is on the phone as you approach. She completes the call, hangs up, looks at you, and says, “Good morning. How may I help you?”
You state your name and business. She asks you to be seated while she lets the consultant know you’ve arrived. You sit down and peruse one of the company brochures displayed on the coffee table.
In less than five minutes, your contact comes out, buttoning his suit jacket as he approaches. He greets you with a warm smile and a firm handshake, and you walk together down the hall to his office.
In his office, there is a choice of chairs, and your companion invites you to sit where you’d be most comfortable. You’re surprised to notice that your favorite soft drink awaits you. Then you remember: you received a phone call confirming the meeting and asking what you’d like to drink. You both quickly settle in and begin to talk.
By now I’m sure the answer to this question is obvious: Other variables being roughly equal, to whom will you entrust your money?
What might not be so obvious is that almost every influential element in these scenarios is nonverbal:
- The appearance of the premises
- The efficiency and courtesy of the security staff
- Whether you are spoken to or gestured at
- Whether you receive the full attention (time, eye gaze, and greeting) of the receptionist
- The type of reading material you are offered
- How long you wait
- The care your contact has taken with his appearance
- Your contact’s approach and handshake
- Walking side by side versus being led
- Demonstrated concern for your comfort (seating, offering of food)
- Your importance compared to the importance of the telephone
Perhaps you consider these things superficial or matters of appearance. But recall the last time you decided to discontinue doing business with someone. Often it’s the accumulation of small, corrosive details—unreturned calls, unanswered e-mails, habitual lateness, the uncomfortable feeling that the person dealing with us is rushed, is disorganized, or has other clients more important than us—that erodes the goodwill and trust on which all commerce is based, ending what began as a positive relationship. Frequently we aren’t consciously aware of how unrewarding a relationship has become—until it’s time to renew the contract, the prices go up, a competitor calls with an attractive pitch, or a careless or costly error becomes “the final straw.”
THIN SLICE ASSESSMENTS—SNAP DECISIONS WITH SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES
We humans are born with big, busy brains that love to learn. Sporting a stunning lack of physical defenses (no shell, no claws, no beak, no wings, no fangs, no speed), we have had to depend for our survival on our mental agility: our ability to quickly size up situations, take decisive action based on our impressions, learn from everything that happens, and remember what we’ve learned. We walk around with our radar always switched on. The world is constantly “speaking” to us through our senses, sending a continuous stream of impressions, and we are constantly assessing what those impressions mean.
Many impressions we receive and assess consciously: We spot someone we find attractive and move closer for another look. We smell freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and want to sample them. We hear our boss say our name and go to find out what she wants. Others we receive and assess without conscious thought: We see an oncoming car and leap out of harm’s way. We edge away when someone stands too close. We avoid those whose behavior or appearance seems outside the norm. In short, we are constantly making decisions based on an astonishingly small amount of information—and we do so in an astonishingly short time. This is what is meant by the term “thin slice assessment.”
Thin slice work began to be verified in the 1990s, in studies showing that we make very accurate assessments about people’s personalities very quickly, often after viewing a photograph for just a few seconds or less. It turns out that a great deal of our decision making—from the friends we choose to how we invest our money—is based on the constant promptings of our residual subconscious awareness. This awareness is omnipresent, bypassing logic, operating beneath notice, yet dominating our perceptions. Thin slice assessments give us remarkable insights into others, how we feel about them, their trustworthiness, and their feelings about us. Most of the data on which we base these millisecond, make-or-break evaluations are nonverbal."
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