But it’s more than that. We are trained from a very early age to avert our eyes from abnormalities. Children are fascinated by people whose appearance differs from what they’ve come to expect. And we teach them to ignore that interest. My daughter, Tarpley, once asked a cashier if she was a man or a woman. My husband flushed with shame for the discomfort it caused the homely, hirsute woman. He apologized but recognized that the damage was done. Afterward he explained to our daughter just how much that kind of comment must have hurt the woman. She doesn’t ask those kinds of questions anymore. She’s learned not to stare.
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